Test Failed.

unexpected death
lost memories, lost friendship
hard drive failure sucks

Dell Inspiron 600m Jan 2005-Jan 2008

Yesterday, like any normal day I went to turn on my computer and it sounded of cries of desperation. It was trying so hard to fight for life making grinding noises like a plane trying to take off. I first turned it off in fright, panic setting in, took a breath and turned it back on hoping that it was only a misunderstanding. It made the same sound again and this time I let it run for a few seconds until it beeped twice then turned off. This is when I knew that the gig was over. Worst case scenario - everything is lost. Fortunatly, sort of, I backed most of my stuff up last December (of 2006), but this meant that everything that took place in 2007 was lost. I feel like this was a sign of the past year - that I'm not to remember 2007 in too much detail. Like selective memories - of good times such as in pictures posted on my online photo site.

So now, I have some sort of recovery plan (of all documents, photos and music of the past year). I am of course trying with all my might to recover it by extracting it from the hard drive, but I feel that the effort will wind up wasted. I spoke to the infamous Dell customer service and it was actually slightly helpful but still only told me what I already knew - hard drive crash. System tests yielded: Test Failed! messages in red.

I guess I'm not too distraught. Yes, it sucks, yes, shit happens, but it'll be ok. Moral of this story kids? Back yo shit up!

mL

Train of Thought: Therapy

I saw by Matt Nathanson
(press play)

I would say that I spent a good 14.87% of the past 3 months bitching about my commute and about 4.9% of my life thus far, bitching about commuting in general. Then there are moments of clarity when I realize that it can benefit my mental well being. To the naked eye - you might think this ludacris as I am shoved under armpits, squished in a sea of suits, and throwing elbows at little old asian women (who will, in fact, shove you down the stairs while they pretend to look innocent and feeble). When the commuting game is strategically played, there is no shoving, squishing or b.o. to be seen/smelt. There's a cramped seat with theraputic powers. This is your time to do what you please, without distractions. Read, listen to music, people watch, ponder the worlds deepest questions, etc.

I listen to music while either sleeping, reading a trashy magazine, book or newspaper, or ponder whatever comes to mind. So before I diverge any further - the song. This is one of my all time favorite songs. During my routine trek home I heard it and it got me thinking. It made me wistful and hopefull all at the same time. I'm not even sure I know what it's about. It seems to be a song of unrequited love after a one sided breakup - like most songs. Come to think of it, theres nothing really hopeful about the song at all. The thing is, we've all felt this way before.

In my case, it reminds me of the person who gave me this song on a mixed tape (or CD as it were) who was just that - the kind of person who wo give me a mixed tape. As like most relationships, it ended. Not particularly well or poorly although I was the one who was on the recieving portion of the breakup. The line "I'll forget about you long enough to forget why I need to" always gets me thinking. I think everyone has someone that they'd like to forget because they feel that they need to - which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Otherwise, I just really enjoy the song. It's sad in a way that we can all understand. A little extra time in the day to reflect on our past and ponder our future can really be therapeutic and may very well be exactly what we need to maintain our sanity.

mL